When I moved to California, I gained a different sense of confidence. I don't know if it was being around new people or what, but I started not to care what people thought about me, internally or externally. I could say and be whoever I wanted, and never really cared how people thought about me. In fact, people seemed to like me more when I wasn't trying to tip-toe around everyone's feelings about me. Now that I'm about to start school in Bossier, it's happening again. I have that same self-conscious mentality. I care so much about what people think of me and, honest to God, do not know why.
The saddest thing of all, is that I've been told that people look up to me because of me IDGAF attitude. People respected the fact that I didn't care what people saw me as. I feel pathetic. Or should I say felt....
I'm going to try to renew my favorite character trait... So... I dyed my hair red.
Yeah? So what? I don't know why this subtle change makes me feel so.. empowered. I can do anything now. So, I got a Tumblr. I stood up for myself. I'm just on a roll, man.
So, to you, anyone with the fear of other's persecution, whether the things you say or the things you wear: Conquer a fear and all the fears fall conquered after. You see, all your fears are bundled together. No matter if it's fear of heights or fear of standing up for yourself; When one of your fears have been defeated, big or small, your sense of accomplishment will raise you to such a high that your other fears don't look as devastating as they did before. Of course, this is all personal experience. Results may vary.
This was just a personal rant and ramble. No need to judge ;)
Love & Creep,
Jess
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